The Marriage Preparation Process has two purposes. The first is to ensure that the engaged couple sufficiently understands the nature of marriage as a sacrament that is permament, exclusive, and open to children. The second is to ensure both that the couple has sufficiently discussed the various elements of married life and that they have the skills necessary to navigate these elements. Here at St. Bon's the process has four parts.
Part I -- The Initial Meeting with the Couple
This meeting normally takes place after the couple has contacted the Parish and received our Wedding Preparation Letter. The Purpose of this meeting is to allow the priest or deacon to get to know the couple, take some basic information, explain the preparation process, and to ensure there are no impediments to the marriage going forward. If there are no impediments, then a date for the wedding will be set.
The most common impediment to marriage is a previous marriage, religious or civil. A baptized Christian of any kind who has been validly married in their Church must receive an annulment in order to be married in the Catholic Church, regardless of whether their previous marriage was Catholic or not. For more information on the annulment process, please contact the Church. It is essential that the priest or deacon be told about any previous marriages, religious or civil, during this first meeting.
Part II -- The Pre-Marital Inventory
The Pre-Marital Inventory or PMI is a questionnaire designed to ensure that the couple has reflected on and discussed together certain topics essential to married life together. Here at St. Bon's we use the Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding & Study (FOCCUS) PMI. The FOCCUS PMI is not a test of a couple's suitability to get married and cannot be passed or failed. It is designed to raise issues that require further consideration and discussion between the couple.
After completing the questionnaire online, the couple meets with the priest or deacon between two and six times to discuss the results. These meetings allow the couple to engage in guided discussions on any issues that have been raised by the PMI. For more information, please see the FOCCUS website, www.foccusinc.com.
Part III -- Marriage Preparation Classes
The Diocese of Paterson requires two marriage preparation classes for all couples who will be married in the Diocese of Paterson. The first course focuses on the theology of marriage and human sexuality and is based on St. John Paul II's Theology of the Body. The second course focuses on the practical elements of married life -- joint finances, communication skills, and the like. Both courses are required. For more information or to register for the courses, please see the Diocesan Marriage prepartion website.
Part IV -- Planning the Service
This meeting takes place four to six weeks prior to the wedding and will focus on planning the wedding ceremony itself. The couple is expected, in consultation with the priest or deacon, to choose all the texts to be used during the service. To facilitate this process, the parish will provide the couple with a booklet outlining all the options for the service.